Sourced from here. My responses are interlaced in bold.
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This post is all I have to say about the Chick-Fil-A controversy. It sums up various posts on the issue and various points made by my friends and I. From now own, rather than spend time debating this issue person by person, I’m going to point people here.
My hope here is to find common ground with those who have disagreed with me on the issue, and maybe to persuade. It’s not to ridicule or to best.
So, in the interest of common ground, let’s start here: I acknowledge the absurdity of all this debate.
It’s definitely strange to have days-long Facebook debates flare up everywhere over a chicken sandwich. The anger, sarcasm, and hurt feelings on display seem strange or even laughable because most people have seen Chick-Fil-A as just a restaurant with a funny ad campaign. I’ll get into some of the whys and wherefores of that later. But, for now, let’s just say that, yes. It can seem ridiculous to get all worked up over fast-food chicken.
Let’s also agree that this isn’t about curtailing anyone’s rights under First Amendment. The Constitution is a legal document. This is not a legal argument. No one is arguing that Chik-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy should be put in prison, or silenced, or censored by the government. This has nothing to do with government censorship or government abridgment of Freedom of Speech. So don’t worry: the ability of this millionaire to legally spend his millions as he sees fit is not in jeopardy. You need not defend it.
Now, let’s get to the nitty-gritty of things. Please read carefully. These things have been said before, but not by me, and not all in one place. Please read with an open mind. If you can’t read with an open mind, please leave, take a minute, come back, and try again. If you can’t do that, then please don’t bother. Please read all of the words here, rather than just reading half of the argument and assuming you know what I’m saying. Read these words as they are written. Again, if you don’t want to read my words, then don’t continue.
So here goes:
1. This isn’t simply about marriage. Shocker, right? It’s extremely frustrating that same-sex marriage is the great continental divide. People are judged according to how they stand on this issue, as if no other issue matters. Did you know that a person can be for same-sex marriage and still be homophobic? Did you know that a person can be against same-sex marriage and be gay? We all get categorized very quickly based on the marriage issue and maybe that’s not fair. But here’s what you should know:
- In 29 states in America today, my partner of 18 years, Cody, or I could be fired for being gay. Period. No questions asked. One of those states is Louisiana, our home state. We live in self-imposed exile from beloved homeland, family, and friends, in part, because of this legal restriction on our ability to live our lives together. I guess I can only say is that I don't believe him without seeing sources. At the very least, I suspect the situation is being misrepresented. In many states, a person can be fired for any reason. To single out gayness is hyperbolic.
- In 75 countries in the world, being gay is illegal. In many, the penalty is life in prison. These are countries we can’t openly visit. In 9 countries, being gay is punishable by death. In many others, violence against gays is tacitly accepted by the authorities. These are countries where we would be killed. Killed. What other countries do is irrelevant to the issue at hand. Not to mention that most of these countries are heavily Islam, which is ironic considering that the Left's favored religion is Islam.
- Two organizations that work very hard to maintain this status quo and roll back any protections that we may have are the Family Research Council and the Marriage & Family Foundation. For example, the Family Research council leadership has officially stated that same-gender-loving behavior should be criminalized in this country. They draw their pay, in part, from the donations of companies like Chick-Fil-A. Both groups have also done “missionary” work abroad that served to strengthen and promote criminalization of same-sex relations. Here is a link to the Family Research Council position papers on homosexuality. I could find no reference to any desire to criminalize homosexuality. Regarding "missionary work" abroad, this assertion is also false.
- Chick-Fil-A has given roughly $5M to these organizations to support their work.
- Chick-Fil-A’s money comes from the profits they make when you purchase their products.
2. This isn’t about mutual tolerance because there’s nothing mutual about it. If we agree to disagree on this issue, you walk away a full member of this society and I don’t. There is no “live and let live” on this issue because Dan Cathy is spending millions to very specifically NOT let me live. I’m not trying to do that to him. "Full member of society?" I though he just said this isn't about rights? More hyperbole. A lot of people cannot get married. Close relatives. People that are too young. People that are already married. Similarly, a lot of people are denied the privilege to drive, based on age, intoxication, prior driving record, etc. None of this has anything to do with being a full member of society.
Asking for “mutual tolerance” on this like running up to a bully beating a kid to death on the playground and scolding them both for not getting along. I’m not trying to dissolve Mr. Cathy’s marriage or make his sex illegal. I’m not trying to make him a second-class citizen, or get him killed. He’s doing that to me, folks; I’m just fighting back. Can the author name any law under consideration anywhere in the country that intends to make gay sex illegal? As noted above, gays are not second class citizens, and no one is trying to kill the author. This sounds like paranoia.
All your life, you’re told to stand up to bullies, but when WE do it, we’re told WE are the ones being intolerant? Well, okay. Yes. I refuse to tolerate getting my ass kicked. “Guilty as charged.” Even more hyperbole. Who is telling the author that he is intolerant, who is being bullied and where, who is kicking his ass?
But what are you guilty of? When you see a bully beating up a smaller kid and you don’t take a side, then you ARE taking a side. You’re siding with the bully. And when you cheer him on, you’re revealing something about your own character that really is a shame.
3. This isn’t about Jesus. I have a lot of Christian friends. Most of them are of the liberal variety, it’s true, but even this concept seems lost on some of you. Most of them are pro-LGBT rights. Pro-gay and Pro-Christ are NOT mutually exclusive. They never have been, in the history of Christianity, though it’s been difficult at times. It’s not impossible to be both. This is a bunch of assertions that amount to a religious position. He's making statements about doctrine, when it simply means that other people have different doctrines. Indeed, traditional christian teaching says we are all sinners and that Christ died on the cross to wash away those sins. We don't get to stay the same. We have to change into what God wants us to be. So it is "impossible to do both," whatever the "both" happens to be when it disagrees with God.
If someone is telling you it is, then maybe you should wonder why they’d do that. I see divorced Christians, remarried Christians, drug addict Christians. I see people with WWJD bracelets bumping and grinding on TV and raking in millions to do it. I see greedy, rapacious, vengeful people who are Christians. And these people are accepted in the Church, and the Church does very little to combat them. Sometimes it seems like being gay is the ONLY thing certain modern Christian movements won’t allow. Why’s that, I wonder? All irrelevant. The only way he knows that Christians are living up to a standard of righteousness is because there IS a standard of righteousness. None of this, however, has anything to do with the issue at hand. All he succeeds in establishing is that being gay is no worse than drug addict Christians.
Jesus had almost nothing to say about sexual behavior of any kind. The author seems intent on justifying his position with religious posturing. This statement is false:
Mt. 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Mt. 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress...
Mt. 15:18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man `unclean’. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
Jn. 8:10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no-one condemned you?” “No-one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
He was too busy teaching more important things. Empathy is at the heart of his teachings. This also is false, but since he really doesn't believe the Bible anyway, except to the extent it is useful in order to further his agenda, there is little profit in quoting more Scripture. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is the second favorite Scripture of the irreligious, right after "Judge not, lest ye be judged," and is never used except to bludgeon Christians. Remember that? It’s in red. So let’s examine that: If things were reversed, I’d stand up for you.
Please think about this: How would you feel if KFC came out tomorrow and said they were spending money against equality for Asian Americans, or African Americans, or religious people? Race is not the same thing as who you like to boink. I mean really. That is what he's trying to do is to equate slavery with who he chooses to penetrate.
Really. Think about it. What would you do? How would you feel? How would you feel if, after their announcement, there was a big increase in KFC sales and I was all over Facebook supporting KFC. Please stop reading right now and imagine this. I’m serious.
You can stop now because it’s ludicrous. It would never happen. Except there is a massive effort to shut up and marginalize religious people in society today. So at least he gets one right.
Oh, I don’t mean the part about KFC being against some group. That COULD happen. I mean the part about me supporting them. Let me tell you something, and you can damn well believe it: I’d sign on for the boycott IMMEDIATELY.
Why? Well, because I believe in equality for all people, that’s why. But also, personally, from the bottom of my heart: because you are my friend, and I don’t willingly support people who harm you for just being you. Hyperbole appears to be the author's default technique. Who is trying to harm you by disagreeing with you? How could I? How could I, really? But, more importantly for our purposes, how could you?
Seriously, how could you? What has Chick-Fil-A ever done for you? What has Chick-Fil-A done TO you, except express an opinion? Sold you some fatty chicken at a ridiculous mark-up? Made you chuckle at semi-literate cartoon cows? You mean more to me than KFC possibly could. If I, in turn, don’t mean more to you than a chicken sandwich from Chik-Fil-A–if my life, my quality of life, and my dignity are such afterthoughts to you that you’d not only refuse the boycott, but go out of your way to support someone who was hurting me? if I let this stand, if I don’t stand up to the bullies and if I let my friends egg the bullies on, what does that make me?
Well, it makes me a Chikin.
Yeah, so suddenly it is cause for anger, ridiculous or not. Anger, or rage? Because it appears to be rather perilous to disagree with the author.
But I’m not going to stop being Facebook friends with anyone over this issue.
Instead, I will remain. And, when you see my face with my partner’s in my profile, maybe you will examine not simply what your opinions are about gay people, or gay marriage, or the first amendment, even; maybe you’ll examine not merely your opinions but your values. What is friendship to you? What is loyalty? How important are human life and dignity to you? Are they more important than fitting in with your social group? Are they more important than loyalty to a corporate brand, or a political party, or some misguided church teaching?
That’s why we’re so angry. This is personal for us. There are times in your life when you have the opportunity to stand up for your friends. When you let that opportunity pass, your friends notice. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, but it diminishes you, and it diminishes the friendship. That’s how it is, no matter what the issue or what the venue.
So stand up. Stand up for us. Do the right thing. You don’t have to agree with us on everything, but repudiate Chick-Fil-A. Unlike them on Facebook. Withdraw your support for them. Join us in the boycott. If you can’t do that, then please ask yourself whether I’m your friend. In fact, ask yourself whether anyone is.
This is all I have to say. If you’d like to debate the issue further, I’ll do it, but I’m not going to go around and around on the same points. If you’re just going to repeat yourself, save us both some time. If you haven’t taken the time to actually read this carefully and actually consider carefully what I’ve said, then I see no reason to waste further words.
The ball is in your court. Again, I urge you to do the right thing.
- Wayne Self
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