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Friday, October 14, 2016

Men are horrible pigs and women are wonderful

Posted by a FB friend, a man. My comments in bold.
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This is a textbook case of virtue signaling. We see this technique more and more, as if by telling men to "man up" and women how wonderful they are, it will somehow gain points for the man. 

I posted a reply, and a "conversation" ensued. You'll find that at the bottom of the page.
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I'm frustrated.

No, that's actually the word I would use if something doesn't go well. Like if I drop a filter of wet coffee grounds on the floor and have to take an extra minute to clean up the tiny mess. This, however, is not a tiny mess. It's a gaping wound in the fabric of our society. It's woven through every community in our nation, and it affects (and infects) the very souls and minds of boys and girls in one way or another, every day of their lives... It's the societal constant undertone that women are second-class citizens. So what I really am isn't frustrated... I'M DISGUSTED, I'M APPALLED, and I'M FURIOUS!

MEN:

WAKE UP! And after you wake, STAND. Teach our boys to respect women, to protect women, to honor women. Practical application? Model appropriate and respectful behavior while at the park, the football game, and standing at the street corner waiting for the light to change. We need to not only do this in public, but also in private. Behind walls and closed doors. In offices, in restaurants, in our homes. In group settings and one-on-ones. Be hyper-vigilant in the words and actions you choose. Model behavior and have conversations that encourage young men to respect our mothers, sisters, and daughters.

The fight is now, while our boys are young, so that we don't raise another generation of men who laugh in the "locker room conversation" moments that inevitably produce the Brock Turners of society. MEN, we're the only ones who can change this, so STAND.

WOMEN:

I can only start by offering the deepest, heartfelt apology. I'm so sorry that men have not always treated you as equals... that you have not always had the same opportunities offered to you as do males. That you have been taken advantage of. That you have had to fight for your voices to be heard. That from the time you were little, much of the behavior you've witnessed from men has objectified you, sexualized you, demeaned you, and made you feel unsafe and disqualified.

YOU ARE NOT DISQUALIFIED!!

You are INTELLIGENT, you are CREATIVE, you are ADVENTUROUS, you are CAPABLE, you are AMAZING, you are BEAUTIFUL, you are WORTHY, you are LOVED, and you are to be RESPECTED! But above all, YOU ARE VALUABLE! Your voice matters! Your thoughts and feelings matter! Your sense of safety, security, and freedom to walk down the street without fear of verbal or physical assault, matters!

When I heard the news that some were calling for the repeal of the 19th Amendment, I thought it was a joke. "No way...this can't be a real thing." Oh, wait...it is. It's an actual, pathetic, real thing. A thing my daughters are immersed in every day, when we walk through the mall, watch tv, and while they're on the playground at school.

When I read a recent article on one woman's past experiences, I wept. I wept because I knew she was not an aberration, but the norm. I wept for humanity, I wept for our country, I wept for my daughters, and I wept for you.

So I'm turning that pain into action, and I stand, with you on my heart and mind.

My pledge to you is Hope.

We'll get through this together.
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Me: Men are horrible pigs and women are wonderful. Really?

E.R.: If that's what you got from this post, Rich, that's an absolute shame.

Me: It's not all I got, but it is a theme. You tell men to man up and women how special they are. You have no commendation for the millions of men who quietly live lives of virtue, and absolutely no criticism for women who debase themselves, neglect their children, or divorce their husbands for frivolous reasons.

E.R: You're right, in saying it's a theme. It's a theme in society that women are consistently treated as "less than" men. Frequently as objects--sub-human--not people. I believe it's one of the greatest travesties, that men try to rob women of their God-given identity. Creation wasn't complete until God made woman. She is the crown of Creation, and it's our job as men to treat them as God created them to be. Are there good men? Absolutely! And I'm encouraging men with good hearts who have been living lives of "silent virtue" to stop being silent. This post was meant to speak to the pain that literally every woman has endured countless times throughout their lives in one form or another. I haven't had to endure this personally, because I'm a man. But I'm aware of it because I listen to their pain, and am encouraging other men to do the same. Injustice will persist as long as you ignore it. But empathy...now there's a weighty word worth living out on the daily. I don't have to personally experience the trauma to help someone carry their burden. All I have to do is listen to the injustice they've experienced and do whatever I can to ensure they don't experience it again. Maybe it's because you had a son instead of a daughter, that you don't fully understand what it's like being a father walking through the hardware store with a young daughter getting looks from crusty old men, and you want to crack their skulls and introduce their backs to the ground for the perverted looks they give your princess... It is a pervasive problem and fear that women face every day. As they walk to their car. Go for a jog down the street. Hell, show up to work in the morning. And for some women, sadly, when they go home to what should be their safe haven. Your continued ignorance to their experience only compounds the problem. If you're one of the silent men of virtue, you are who I am calling to stand. Stop sitting. Stop being silent. Speak up and do something when you encounter injustice. When you hear someone objectifying women with their speech. Not just witnessing it physically, but in the "locker room" moments. If you don't take issue with a rich man saying he can grab any woman (including married) by the p***y because of his wealth and power, you're part of the problem. Every time people brush off comments like these, they're condoning the very sentiment my post is intended to combat.
Me: You may now stop preaching to me about unaddressed subjects. I made a single point about a single part of your essay. I did not mention Trump, I am not ignorant because I only had a son. I am not defending creepy old men.

If you want to make a new reply that speaks to what I wrote, that would be great.


E.R.: I would say the same to you about your "all men are pigs" comment. It does not speak to what I originally wrote. If you'd like to make a comment that speaks to what I wrote, that would be great.

A friend mentioned to me that you are commenting on the second of my posts; the original contained a link to an article where a woman talks about her personal experiences. I wrote this post in response to that article. Then a friend asked me to repost just what I wrote so she could share it--apparently there was some technical issue that wouldn't let her post my words with the link; it was only showing the link when she tried to share my post. So I reposted just my words per her request. Maybe if you look at the other post and read the article, it would put my post into better context?

The original article can be found at www.heyeleanor.com


Me: Apart from context, it is impossible to know your intentions. I appreciate the link, which adds context. Thank you for that.

I drew a conclusion from your essay that men were the bad guys from statements like this: "It's woven through every community in our nation, and it affects (and infects) the very souls and minds of boys and girls in one way or another, every day of their lives..." There is certainly a universal condition depicted here. Thus, there apparently are no good men.

But thank you for clarifying that there are some good men. I'd like to know, are there women who through no fault of men are doing bad things? Or are they all to be pedestalized and treated as special snowflakes?

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