I was at the gas station the other day, and someone had stretched the air hose across the sidewalk to fill her tires. As I stepped over the hose she pulled on it to reach the tire, nearly tripping me. She was very apologetic. I tried to reassure her it was no big deal.
It got me to thinking, though. I should be very offended that this person had imperiled my safety. And who located the air hose so that it had to be stretched across the sidewalk in order to use it? I should complain to the government. There ought to be a law!
If I were a part of the political left, that would be the answer. The Left loves to tell people what to do. They are all about controlling peoples’ lives, for their own good of course. They believe in their heart of hearts that every problem deserves a government solution. Every offense requires government intervention. Every injustice requires a government remedy.
Maybe the City will help me with my crusade. The City seems more than willing to take up pop culture causes. They certainly are not reluctant to spend taxpayer money. And they already exhibit a marked tendency to tell people what to do.
Remember, they made us safe from the danger of cell phones. I know this because I was out walking today and just managed to dodge a bicyclist who was riding on the sidewalk, going the wrong way of course. Thankfully, he wasn’t talking on a cell phone, so I am filled with gratitude the city solved that problem.
Anyway, pass a law. We need more government to tell us what to eat, where to shop, how to start a business, and how high we can stand on a ladder. We need more government to tell us what we can say, how much water our toilets can use, and what our rights are.
More government! President Obama just proposed a new budget that adds $1.33 trillion to the national debt. Jacob Lew, the president’s chief of staff, said, “I think there is pretty broad agreement that the time for austerity is not today.” Ergo, we need more government to solve the problems not solved by more government. One might justifiably wonder when austerity would be an appropriate strategy. The answer, of course, is never.
More laws. More control. More government! The Left only has one way to look at things. It’s the same tired solution offered time after time. And they are never deterred by their constant failures. They quickly take credit for anything good, and blame others for the collateral damage they cause.
It is the height of irony that they call themselves progressives, given this inexorable “progression” toward financial and cultural disaster. It’s like a car careening toward a cliff. But let’s be clear, it’s not just them. While the Left wants to step on the gas, Republicans only want to slow down to 55. Either way, we’re still going to do a Thelma and Louise.
But I digress. I need to get back to my air hose problem. I suggest that the City create a 1500 page law that tells gas stations where the air hose must be located, who can use it, and what color it should be. And a disclosure sign with mandated language, sort of like the drug commercials on TV that spend the whole time telling us about side effects: “Use of this air hose may cause a tripping hazard or an explosion. Do not use when drowsy or operating heavy equipment. Side effects include thoughts of suicide, depression, anxiety, hangnails, and scurvy. Do not inhale.”
I experienced a clear case of inattentive hosing. Since the city council seems willing to hose the taxpayer, maybe they could remedy this serious public safety problem. If it saves just one life it will be worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment