Ken Alexander’s messages to me about his wife Lori, The Transformed Wife - By Elizabeth Prata

Found here. Our comments in bold.

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Ms. Prata's complete lack of self-awareness leads to this exchange with the husband of a woman she criticized. Ms. Prata believes her activities are self-evidently virtuous, under the guise of "discernment." Thus she has no qualms whatsoever about "discerning" a woman (and her husband) who she doesn't know, has never talked to, and with whom she has no relationship whatsoever. 

Why is this important? 

We have become convinced that the the idea of criticizing false teachers as practiced by "discernment ministries" is not found in the Bible. Every example of naming and disciplining false teachers in the NT is in the local congregation. That is, those who cause division, who are immoral, or who teach false doctrines in the midst of the church are subject to scrutiny, correction, and/or avoidance.

This does not mean we cannot critique the teachings of those outside our church. We do this often here in this blog. It simply means that because those who would want to exercise local discipline are not actually gathered with those people they criticize, they do not have authority and cannot engage the biblical practices (like Matthew 18, Tit. 3:10, Romans 16:17, 2Ti. 3:5, 1 Ti. 1:19-20 or Galatians 6:1, for example). 

Church discipline can only be expressed in the local body. It is up to the church where the false teacher is located, or denomination of which his church is a part, to engage the process of correction. It is not the job of someone not in that denomination or congregation.

All discernment in the NT is local. Every discernment verse is regarding something happening in a local congregation. There are no Bible verses that teach or even imply that a Christian ought to smoke out false teachers living in another city, or even in another church in the same city.

It’s all because of this article-

When I published that discernment article exposing some major doctrinal and behavioral issues with The Transformed Wife (Lori and Ken Alexander)’s output, there was quite a bit of reaction. One of the reactions was Lori’s husband Ken messaged me on Facebook. I did not solicit nor expect a personal private message, and not from a married man, no less. (This is very strange. Ms. Prata published several articles critical of Ms. Alexander, and is surprised that her husband contacted her?)

As you read the correspondence, please keep in mind that I have no relationship with Mr Alexander, personal or spiritual, I did not invite the messaging, and I tried to cut it off, but he breached that boundary of non-consent. (Um, Ms. Prata. You published criticisms of his wife. Having no relationship is irrelevant. Any man worth his salt will defend his wife.

And by the way, what relationship does Ms. Prata have with Lori Alexander? She published criticisms of her without having a relationship with her, but now all of the sudden it's important to have a relationship?)

I have the screenshots.

People who message have a reasonable expectation of privacy. Normally I keep messages private and do not publish messages. (Sometimes I ask permission to publish if a reader has offered a really good thought or blog idea, and I publish if yes or no if they say no). However when Ken contacted me again after I’d asked him not to, all bets were off. (On what basis? Regardless of him persisting in contact, it does not grant Ms. Prata permission to publish his comments.)

As you read this, keep in mind also that he claims identity in Christ as a Godly man.

So here it all is. Explanation at bottom. I refrained from editorializing as much as I could and tried to give you just the facts. (Ms. Prata's entire article is an editorialization.)

You decide. I might have erred in replying. My goal and intent was to try and get him to see the issues and hopefully repent. (Who are you that grants you permission or authority to bring this man to repentance?)

I tried. Maybe that was my mistake. Again, you decide.

MESSAGE #1 from Ken Alexander. His wife had already blocked me after 1 engagement which she initiated. I believe she blocked me because I’d asked her if she had repented of her false teaching of Pelagianism. (Ms. Prata called this woman a heretic, yet is surprised at the response.)

Lori never answered that. Neither did Ken when I asked him. I did not solicit this contact. (Ms. Prata repeats herself. But in fact she did solicit contact by publishing several articles about this man's wife. 

May we say that her articles also were not "solicited?" They were pre-emptive. They were the opening salvo. Ms. Prata started this battle.

This is the unseemly underbelly of "discernment" ministries. People like Ms. Prata seem to think they can write anything about people they don't know and with whom they don't have relationship. They don't think there will be blow-back, so when it does come they feign injury as if they did nothing to deserve it.

The reason is, these "discernment ministers" think they're doing the Lord's work. They think that they are simply telling the truth, and that is self-justifying. So they take pot shots at people who live 1000 miles away.)

Ken wrote:

Hi Elizabeth,

After reading your article on Lori I could not recognize my own wife by the time you were done.

I found it interesting that you claim she is unteachable, yet when she makes her position clear on Original Sin in a post you gloss it over as “too little too late.”

We raised four wonderful Children together with strong and reasonable discipline… and they are all secure Believers in Christ with highly successful lives and families of their own. You’re just dead wrong on this idea of “hitting.” It’s spanking and there is very little cold in So Cal. How did you do with your family and kids?

Lori says that some time back you praised her ministry and agreed with her, yet somehow you caught Satan’s whisper and have been quite undiscerning here. You sound like a post from the trolls you are listening to.

She is full of love and grace, but hard hitting because she is goes up against the strong influence of feminism. You are correct that she purposely avoids the teaching the man’s role to keep women focused on what God calls them to do without pointing a finger at their disobedient husband they are called to win.

Lori’s ministry is not perfect, just as you have now proven that yours is not either. But many women write her regularly with wonderful stories of changed lives and marriages, proof that God is using her and blessing her God given wisdom from the Word. We don’t expect everyone to agree with her… even I don’t 100% . But when you attack one of the few godly women teaching the vital principles of Biblical Womanhood you do a disservice to the advancement of the Kingdom of God. She is teaching things that you and many other women cannot teach because she walks the talk with her life and love of our Jesus.

Thanks for listening and have a great life. Ken

Ken wrote again before I even saw his 1st message and could reply:

Ken’s MESSAGE #2

I just read this by you and wonder if the Lord wasn’t telling you something, yet you projected it upon others without careful reflection for the words you just wrote against another sister in Christ?

It’s something to ponder in the Spirit as you asked others to do the same. 

“It is humbling to publicly repent of something done in sin or taught incorrectly in His name. It is humbling to eat crow. But pride should not be so strong that it prevents us from kneeling down and saying “I was wrong. Forgive me.”

My reply to the above Ken-messages #1 & 2: I wrote-

Lori’s ministry is exactly as I described. The measure of a ministry is not how many people are writing in, but how doctrinally correct it is. She is an obviously troubled woman dwelling in error, and leading many astray. You have your part in that. Your influences such as the Pearls are atrocious, and this error has flowed down into your own ministry to your wife and her errant ministry to women. Her insistence that the Pearls, Partridge, and Gothard are worthy models, and her excuses for lack of sexual boundaries with wives and lack of boundaries in child punishment is appalling. Repent of those things and I’ll listen.

The Pharisees were ‘hard hitting’ too, and they were mostly right on their doctrine but went beyond by adding and adding, and by the guilt (‘millstone’) laid upon the neck of the sheep. You need to repent too for your part in the devastating millstones, and graceless absolutes you teach your wife to lay on women.

As far as the Original Sin controversy, I asked Lori if she has repented of her previous stance that we are not born as sinners but only BECOME sinners when we sin. It was not answered. HAVE you repented of that?

Your statement that Lori is one of “few godly women teaching the vital principles of Biblical Womanhood” is evidence of how skewed your vision has become. Lori is NOT one of the few women teaching this. You are NOT a bulwark. (And she doesn’t even teach it correctly or evenly).

She should look at gracious and doctrinally correct models such as The Women’s Hope Show from The Master’s Seminary, Where the Wild Bee Wings on Youtube, A Word Fitly Spoken podcast (Spreeman & Lesley), Open Hearts in a Closed World online conference and all women associated with that, DebbieLynne Kespert, Susan Heck, and MANY others who believe as you and Lori do, but who have a balanced view of scripture, and a FULL Titus 2:5 wisdom that includes being “sensible, … kind” but are missing from Lori’s online presence.

I have prayed for her and I do hope the Lord will graciously lift the scales from your and her eyes. Something to ponder and I am not being snarky, I am totally grieved over this. Consider, repent, and then we can talk some more. I’m always willing to listen.

Repentance was not forthcoming. 

Ken’s message #3, replying to my above: [Editor’s Note- Yes their lives ARE an open book. Lori and Ken have kept a blog for 12 years with hundreds of thousands of words written, 6 years’ worth of hours of video, and thousands of tweets. Yes their lives ‘are an open book,’ therefore there’s much material available to evaluate in order to make a solid assessment of their lives.] Ken wrote:

Elisabeth, I have no idea who you are really, but our lives are open book. Your comment “She is an obviously troubled woman dwelling in error, and leading many astray,” is so very far from the truth.

Lori is a woman whose heart is set completely upon the Lord. She has proven herself to her husband and to her family, friends and online friends as a woman of grace, peace, joy and full of the fruits of the Spirit. How can you make such an awful and incorrect assessment of her and expect me to take you seriously?

It’s not going well for me, is it? 

Ken then messaged again before I could reply. By now I’m getting the idea he lacks patience and self-control. Ken’s message #4-

If you want to dialogue, pick one or two issues you believe she is “so wrong about” that her errors are worthy of you trying to destroy her ministry over… and let’s talk about them. There are no grave errors in her teaching, just a difference of opinion on things we cannot have a definitive answer about.

You cannot prove from the scriptures that woman should be teaching doctrine and theology. WE know for certain it must not be from the pulpit, but where do you get the authority for women to teach other women outside of Titus 2?

So you and Lori disagree on something… that is not grounds to disqualify her God given ministry.

Child discipline… you know nothing about our child discipline but for a few stories from the trolls you disagree with. You are welcome to disagree, but yo are not welcome to mischaracterize the facts that you do not possess. There were no freezing children that Christmas morning, and the discipline was appropriate and well received. A story we all laugh about including the kids. Yet you want to portray it as wring and grounds for disqualification of a ministry?

My question to you is why did you lie about what I wrote to you? You attacked Lori on at least 10-12 things and I challenged you on 3 of them. Yet you write on your page that I challenged you on “everything.” That is not true… why tell falsehoods?

The pattern seems clear to me that you are one who God keeps telling you to repent of your attacks on others, show kindness and grace, yet you have done nothing of the kind yourself. Speaking of Pharisees… you might consider talking the log out of your eye before trying to remove the specks from others.

I have not read any of the rest of your stuff, but I understand that you can be ruthless in your writing, betraying your own stated purpose: “Writing ministry of The End Time, by Elizabeth Prata, Exalting name of Jesus through Christian essays.”

Please prayerfully consider the words my Spirit has given for yours. We are all about trying to build up the kingdom of God, and Lori’s ministry will not be perfect… neither yours. But as far as I know we are on the same team Jesus.

‘You’re a ruthless liar’… (Gotta jump in here. Mr. Alexander did NOT call Ms. Prata "a ruthless liar." We can read for ourselves: "you can be ruthless in your writing..." This is a mild criticism of Ms. Prata, but because it is a criticism, Ms. Prata doesn't like it, to the point of modifying it into something that was not written.)

‘We build up the kingdom of God’. Bit of a disconnect

My reply to Ken’s message #4. I kept it short thinking he’d said all that needed to be said and I was done too.

Thanks. I ask you to do the same. Have a pleasant day.

(He gave it a thumbs up in reply)

Ken’s message #5: out of the blue hours later. I had not replied.

Some of the things you write must be a joke: “I wrote about how Lori’s insistence on not teaching anything except home economics from Titus 2 (a stance which, even then, lacks several aspects of the verse, such as kindness, sensibility, reverence, etc).”

Lori has not only taught on all these subjects extensively but she has a book out with a chapter on each one.

You really need to find the Spirit here. I have never heard her equate Titus 2 with Home Economics. Now your just making up lies.

Obviously I’d get nowhere with a man who has that little self-respect and that much anger, to think himself a Christian and called me 

a troll, (False.)

a liar, (False.)

a joke, (False.)

making up lies (True, but only right at the end.)

listening to satan, (True.)

not walking the walk, (False.)

so much ad hominem… (Irony Alert #1: Pelagianism; an obviously troubled woman; dwelling in error; leading many astray; devastating millstones; and graceless absolutes; evidence of how skewed your vision has become.) 

but not an ounce of self-reflection. (Irony Alert #2. Ms. Prata demonstrates a complete lack of awareness about how what she writes might impact people, especially the people she writes about.)

I’d had enough: My reply to Ken Message #5.

Please do not contact me again. And repent of your rough mouth. “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, acts of adultery, other immoral sexual acts, thefts, false testimonies, and slanderous statements.” Mt 15:19

Ken disrespected my boundary and in a shocking lack of self-control, contacted me again: Ken message #6:

It’s interesting how often the Spirit gives you thoughts that you should be applying to yourself, yet you ignore them. May He open up your hardened heart to see what you are doing is not glorifying to Him.

I think we are on the same Team Jesus…. I sure hope so.

My reply to unasked for Ken Message #6. I knew he’d be looking to see what I’d say so I waited until the little circle showed he had read my reply below, then I blocked him.

“BLOCKED and REPORTED for HARASSMENT”

PS: I tried to find the Facebook information on harassment but had a hard time finding it, and when I finally did and read it, decided his correspondence didn’t rise to the level of harassing. He was just more of an annoyance.

—–end correspondence—–

The reference to the children and the hitting and the cold was a story Lori had published about a Christmas morning when she came downstairs to see her 1, 3, 5, 7 year olds had opened up every single present. She was “so upset” and began hitting her kids with her slipper hard enough to “let them know she was clearly angry”. Running upstairs to Ken he came down and put all of them outside on the porch to them the shutting out of the Garden of Eden, so the 1 year old and the others “could ponder their sin.” Later Ken relished the memory by saying they were ‘so cute all lined up out there.’ Ken and Lori are careful nowadays to say ‘swat’ or ‘spank’ instead of hit or beat. He dislikes when I say “hit”.

Anyway I wanted the messages to be public so it would be transparent, not only his behavior, but mine too. So you can decide. (Ok, we will decide indeed. We call foul on both parties.)

A journalist puts the information out there in the most credible and factual way possible, and so that the reader can make her own assessment.

As a journalist, I am familiar with how people act when their worldview is challenged. (Irony Alert #3.)

I know what happens with some, who, when presented with facts contrary to their long-held opinion, act up. I’m used to people like Ken Alexander.

But the issue is: he is half of the Transformed Wife’s ministry He is an overseer of it, contributing author to it, and ultimate teacher within it. A student will go no higher than his teacher, so, my goal is to present information that clearly shows that the Transformed Wife’s ministry is not healthy. Ken and Lori Alexander should not be followed.

My goal, sole goal, is to present information about this self-stated ‘ministry’ of Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, which is partnered by Ken Alexander, that demonstrate that the two of them are to be marked and avoided as false teachers. Their issues, both behavioral and doctrinal, give a clear picture that their material should not be consumed. Stay away.