Four Dumb Myths Charismatics Believe That Aren’t Real - by News Division

Found here. Our comments in bold.

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Many of the author's objections are thoroughly covered elsewhere in our blog. We shall note them with links so as not to complicate our presentation.

Where the author makes new claims, we shall examine them.

We note yet again a common theme among those who claim "discernment" ministries. They hardly ever quote Scripture, and the author is no exception. In fact, he doesn't make a single biblical argument, or even an argument of any kind. He only mocks, denies, and then moves on.

Also, he manages to quote only a single snippet of a Scripture. That's it. One.

Lastly we note the author's acerbic and disrespectful writing style. He clearly disdains charismatics, whose only sin is to have a different doctrinal perspective than he does. 

This entire screed is bereft of a single intelligent thought. There is nothing here at all. Nothing. We are mystified that he even bothered to write it.

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Charismatics believe some notoriously silly things. (The author characterizes them as "notoriously silly," which goes much farther than simply disagreeing doctrinally. Let's see if he establishes the literal silliness of these four beliefs. Hint: He won't. In fact, he doesn't even bother.

The author immediate detours into a completely unrelated presentation. We will mark it in red. If the reader wishes to proceed to the actual topic, he may skip this portion.) Believing that the signs given in the New Testament to verify Apostleship (2 Corinthians 12:12) (Let's quote the Scripture. 

2Co. 12:12: The things that mark an apostle — signs, wonders and miracles — were done among you with great perseverance.

still exist, they’re always looking for “signs, wonders, and mighty deeds.” (Signs were not for the purpose of verifying apostleship. We deal with this here.)

Unfortunately, this leaves them settling for fake miracles, stupid visions, and parlor tricks. 

For nineteen-hundred years, the Christian church has largely believed that the Apostolic sign gifts (This phrase is not found anywhere in the Bible. There is no such thing.

And, it's an Appeal to History, not the Bible.)

(which include prophecy, tongues, and miracles wrought by the hands of men) no longer exist because the Apostles are no longer with us. (The author will continue to make these undocumented, unreferenced claims as if they were self-evident. 

Again, we have dealt with this here.)

These gifts were meant to signify Apostles and were distributed only to the Apostles and upon those whom the Apostles laid their hands. (No documentation of this supplied. In fact, it is categorically false.)

Charismatics disagree with the bulk of church history, (An appeal to history and not the Bible.)

however, and in doing so fall repeatedly for charlatans, crooks, carnival barkers, frauds, phoneys, (sic) mentalists, and parlor tricksters.

Here’s a list of 4 dumb things that charismatics believe that aren’t real.(Finally he gets to the topic.

Dumb, silly, myths, fake, stupid, not real. The author uses descriptors in a way that suggests an egregious, over-the-top, completely beyond the pale level of idiocy on the part of charismatics, going well beyond simple doctrinal disagreement. Let's see how he does in documenting his hyperbolic claims.

Hint: We won't even bother.)

4. Jezebel Spirits, Leviathan Spirits, and other Boogeyman Spirits

(Please note as you read this section how the author mocks and derides charismatics for what they believe about evil spirits, without any stated reasons or documentation. Then he takes it all back by admitting there are demon spirits. Which makes this section irrelevant if the only issue he has is the names charismatics assign to them.)

Charisma News has articles about the infamous Jezebel Spirit about every day. Here’s an article they did, claiming that the “Jezebel Spirit” that went after Moses, Elijah, and Jesus was also working in Hillary Clinton and against Brett Kavanaugh. While we’re fire-breathing conservatives who despise Hillary Clinton and like Brett Kavanaugh, the so-called Jezebel Spirit is not a thing. It literally does not exist; it’s the figment of a charismatic imagination. Neither are there Leviathan Spirits, water spirits, sneaky squid spirits, or other fanciful things. (The author asserts a summary denial without supplying an actual refutation.)

Most of this misunderstanding is linked to Acts 16:16 which, in the King James version says that a girl used as a spiritual medium had a “python spirit.” This amounts to a contextual and interpretative misunderstanding. Luke was not writing about a “constricting” or “squeezing” demonic force that wraps itself around you, as charismatics imagine. (Unjustified generalization.)

The explanation is much blander. “Python,” or pythōna, was a reference to a specific region known as Pytho that held the Oracle of Delphi. A dragon guarded the Oracle of Delphi mythologically, and so “Python” was used as a 1st Century colloquialism to refer to those who claimed the power of divination. There wasn’t an actual spirit snake.

Springboarding off the Python Spirit, charismatics come up with every kind of “boogeyman” spirit possible, all of which, for some reason, are attacking both them and Donald Trump on a daily basis. Scripturally, however, there are demons. (Hmm, here it is. How about that? Having mocked charismatics for naming demonic influences, the author then concedes the demons exist.)

There are not, however, specific kinds of demons with various mythical mascots or superheroes. (Another undocumented claim.)

There’s no Jezebel Spirit, no Sasquatch Spirit, no Jabberwocky Spirit. That’s charismatic nonsense. (Now it's "charismatic nonsense." This is as close as the author will ever come to offering a rejoinder or a refutation. 

Which begs the question, since the author admits to the existence of demons, is there demon possession or oppression still today? If so, does it really matter that charismatics assign names or characteristics to them? Maybe it seems silly to the author for them to do so, but it is clear from Scripture that certain kinds of demonic forces are active in a variety of ways, manifesting in a variety of ways, and dealt with in a variety of ways.

Let's look at some Scripture, something the author refuses to do. This was a muting demon:

Mt. 9:32 While they were going out, a man who was demon-possessed and could not talk was brought to Jesus.

Then there was a blinding demon and muting demon:

Mt. 12:22 Then they brought him a demon-possessed man who was blind and mute, and Jesus healed him, so that he could both talk and see.

This particular demon caused seizures:

Mt. 17:15-18 “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water..." 18 Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment.

This demon gave unnatural strength, another kept the man awake 24-7, and yet another was sadistic:

Mk. 5:2-5 When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an evil spirit came from the tombs to meet him. 3 This man lived in the tombs, and no-one could bind him any more, not even with a chain. 4 For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No-one was strong enough to subdue him. 5 Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

 In fact, this man had so many demons that Jesus actually made them identify themselves:

Mk. 5:9 Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” “My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.”

Let's recall the author's words: There are not, however, specific kinds of demons... Yet we find that demons can have names and attributes, which means charismatics are not terribly far outside the boundaries. Certainly charismatics have gotten it wrong sometimes, but in any case, silliness is not the problem here.)

3. Speaking in “Tongues” (We deal with tongues here.)

One of the last curses of sin was the confusion of language at Babel (Genesis 11). Symbolically, the gift of xenoglossia in Acts 2 (Actually, the Greek here is heterais glōssais [other tongues]. The Greek word xenos is never used in combination with tongues.) 

was the significant and symbolic lifting of that curse. As Jews were gathered from all over the Roman Empire for the Feast of Shavouth, the Harvest Festival, they represented at least 16 different people-groups, as many dialects, and half as many languages. As the 120 followers of Jesus began to preach the Gospel when the Holy Spirit was given, they began to speak in languages that those expat Jews (There is no indication from the text that they were all Jews.)

could hear in their native understanding. (This is a heavy-handed and inelegant presentation of the seminal moment in church history: Pentecost.)

There seems to have been both the speaking of foreign tongues and the interpretation of foreign tongues occurring on the Day of Pentecost. (The author lies. Let's quote the passage:

Ac. 2:6-8 When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. 7 Utterly amazed, they asked: “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? 8 Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language?

Scripture is clear. Each person heard in their own language. There was no interpretation.)

One thing is for sure, however; the languages spoken on the Day of Pentecost were actual languages. (If true, why the speculation on interpretation? If these were actual languages, there is no need for interpretation to occur, for those who understood their own languages being spoken did not need an interpreter.)

In Acts 10, the Holy Spirit did the same miraculous work as the Gospel went to the Gentiles in the household of Cornelius. Later in Acts 11, Peter recalls that they demonstrated that gift “just as we did at the first.” (Let's quote the passage.

Ac. 11:15 As I began to speak, the Holy Spirit came on them as he had come on us at the beginning. 16 Then I remembered what the Lord had said: "John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit." 17 So if God gave them the same gift as he gave us, who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to think that I could oppose God?

Notice that Peter does not call tongues the gift, but rather the Holy Spirit is the gift. In fact, these tongues are not referred to as a gift.

They received the gift of the Holy Spirit just as the men in the upper room did, and the tongues were the manifestation. It wasn't "receive tongues just as we did," it was "received the Holy Spirit just as we did.")

In other words, just as the language spoken in Acts 2 were known human languages, what Cornelius spoke was a known human language. (False conclusion.)

There is no indication anywhere in Scripture that “tongues” is ecstatic utterance or an unknown language. (We deal with tongues extensively here.)

The misunderstanding (Oh, so now it's just a misunderstanding? We thought it was silly and dumb.)

comes from the usage of the word “tongues” in the King James Bible, which was simply the 17th Century term for “languages.” Charismatics sometimes appeal to 1 Corinthians 13:1 in which Paul says, “If I speak in the tongues of angels or the tongues of men, but have not love…” Of course, Paul was not intending to teach on languages at all, but love. ("Of course?" What?? Paul was clearly teaching about the environment for the expression of the spiritual gifts.)

Every time angels speak in Scripture (literally every time), they’re speaking human languages (even when they’re in Heaven). (Undocumented assertion. The author has absolutely no idea what happens in heaven, for he is ignorant of the Bible and of spiritual things.

2Co. 12:3-4 And I know that this man — whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows —  4 was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell.

Re. 14:2 And I heard a sound from heaven like the roar of rushing waters and like a loud peal of thunder. The sound I heard was like that of harpists playing their harps.

Is. 28:13-14 So then, the word of the LORD to them will become: Do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule; a little here, a little there — so that they will go and fall backwards, be injured and snared and captured. 14 Therefore hear the word of the LORD, you scoffers who rule this people in Jerusalem.

Ps. 93:3 The seas have lifted up, O LORD, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their pounding waves.

Ez. 43:2 and I saw the glory of the God of Israel coming from the east. His voice was like the roar of rushing waters, and the land was radiant with his glory.

Psalm 77:18 The voice of Your thunder was in the whirlwind; The lightnings lit up the world; The earth trembled and shook.

Perhaps the author might tell us what human languages these are. Perhaps he might supply us with a verse, even just one, that in heaven the angels and even God only speak in human languages.

We will go farther. WHICH human language is being spoken in heaven? What verse tells us about language in heaven? Where does the author get his information, because it's certainly not the Bible?)

Paul’s point wasn’t giving a colloquial expression to describe lofty speech and words of grandeur. (Summary denial provided without evidence. And we would ask the author, what did the man "caught up in paradise hear [2Co. 12:4]?)

The early church strongly condemned “ecstatic utterance,” or the speaking of nonsense words and gobbledegook. (sic) (Appeal to History and not the Bible.)

This has always been associated with pagan prayer practices, and is used in the occult, Hinduism, and Tribal religions across the world. (This is not a biblical argument.)

2. Receiving a “Word from the Lord” Outside the Bible

Do you know what you call someone who hears directly from God? You call them a prophet. And no, you are not a prophet. (No, it is quite false that everyone who hears from God is or was a prophet. Was Jacob a prophet [Ge. 32:24, Ge. 46:2]? Hagar [Ge. 16:13]? Abraham [Ge. 18:23]? Moses [Ex. 3:4]? A donkey [Nu. 22:28]? Abimelech [Ge. 20:3]?)

Hebrews 1:1-2 (Sigh. Let's quote the verse:

He. 1:1-2 In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, 2 but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe.

very clearly tells us that God no longer speaks to us through prophets, (The author is again lying to us. The passage refers to "our forefathers," which clearly tells us the Jews in prior ages heard from the prophets of old. The epistles are replete with this concept of the prophets [Ac. 2:30, Ac. 3:18, Ac. 10:43, Ro. 1:2, Ro. 3:21, Ep. 3:5, Ja. 5:10, and 1Pe. 1:10for example].

The writer of Hebrews is not making the case for the cessation of prophecy, but rather the cessation of the OT prophets since we now have the living Word. And that living Word is also expressed via the prophetic gift.)

but through the words of Christ. (Now the author has himself ventured into silly-land. The writer of Hebrews, writing prophetically, cannot be telling us that God no longer speaks to us through the prophetic gift, for God was at that moment speaking to him! 

And there was still even more Scripture to come. There is no possible way that Hebrews 1:1-2 [written A.D. 67] has anything to do with ceasing of the prophetic gift.

Lastly, Paul in 1 Corinthians spends much time describing the gift of prophecy, and it was written between 55 and 57 A.D. Why would Paul do this if within 10 years the writer of Hebrews would take it all back?  

This is what we mean by silliness. God is not the author of confusion.)

In fact, we’re promised that incomplete and fragmented prophecies and tongues will cease in 1 Corinthians 13:8 when the complete (telios) comes. The complete word of God Paul referred to was the Holy Scripture and completed canon. (Another completely false, unsupported assertion. We deal with telios here.)

However, charismatics today teach and believe that they should be hearing God speak to them in prayer. Mark it down: Nowhere in Scripture are we told that God speaks to us in prayer…nowhere. (No scriptural documentation for this claim, for it is spectacularly false.  The Bible is filled with God answering prayer, or, people expecting or asking God to answer their prayers:

Ps. 20:5 May the LORD grant all your requests.

Ac. 4:31 After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

Ac. 10:4 Cornelius stared at him in fear. “What is it, Lord?” he asked. The angel answered, “Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God.

Ac. 13:2-3 While they were worshipping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” 3 So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off.

Ac. 16:25-26 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody’s chains came loose.

Ac. 22:17-18 “When I returned to Jerusalem and was praying at the temple, I fell into a trance 18 and saw the Lord speaking. `Quick!’ he said to me. `Leave Jerusalem immediately, because they will not accept your testimony about me.’

Ac. 28:8 His father was sick in bed, suffering from fever and dysentery. Paul went in to see him and, after prayer, placed his hands on him and healed him.

Ro. 1:10 ...and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to come to you.

1Co. 14:14 For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my mind is unfruitful. 

Ep. 1:17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.

Ph. 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Col. 1:9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. 

Phile. 22 And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers. i.e., God was speaking to them with answers.

Ja. 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. i.e., God answers prayers.

Paul expected God to speak to those he wrote to. Paul and Peter and many other characters in the Bible received answers from God. There is no possible way that the Scriptures support the idea that we should not hear from God when we pray. There is no Scripture that states this, no scriptural principle that can be pointed to that says this, and no hint anywhere in the Bible that suggests that prayer is a one-way street.

In fact it is preposterous that God wants us to pray but is silent in return. There is no Scripture that says this. There is no biblical principle that asserts this. There is not a single shred of evidence that we pray to a silent God.

We can assert with confidence that the author is completely wrong. But why wouldn't he be wrong? He has yet to be right, and in fact has yet to even bother with any sort of biblical argument at all.)

Rather, prayer is the means by which we communicate with God, and the Bible is the means by which God communicates to us. (Once again the author does not document his errant claims, most likely because the Bible does not teach this.)

For the vast sum of Christian history, claiming to receive direct, divine revelation from God would have you immediately kicked out of the church. (Appeal to history, not the Bible. Does the author even have a biblical argument to make?)

It still should. This is how every cult of the 19th Century was created (Mormonism, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventism, et al), by people claiming to receive new visions from God.

Don’t believe it. Instead, believe your Bible. (Ironic considering the author has yet to actually employ the Bible in anything written here.)

1. Laughing in the Spirit, Being Slain in the Spirit, Being Drunk in the Spirit

Nadab and Abihu were consumed in fire for worshipping God in a way he did not explicitly prescribe (Leviticus 10), for lighting strange fire upon the altar. There is perhaps no better way to describe a charismatic worship service than “strange fire.”

God gets to decide how we worship him. We are told to call solemn assemblies (Joel 1:14). (We are growing weary of the author's endless pronouncements, pulled of thin air. Let's quote the passage: 

Joe. 1:13-15 Put on sackcloth, O priests, and mourn; wail, you who minister before the altar. Come, spend the night in sackcloth, you who minister before my God; for the grain offerings and drink offerings are withheld from the house of your God. 14 Declare a holy fast; call a sacred assembly. Summon the elders and all who live in the land to the house of the LORD your God, and cry out to the LORD. 15 Alas for that day! For the day of the LORD is near; it will come like destruction from the Almighty.

Dear reader, does this passage sound to you like a prescription for holding a proper church service?) 

Laughing in the presence of God brings judgment as a sign of lacking faith, as it did for Sarah (Genesis 18:12). The Bible says that fools laugh when they should be serious (Proverbs 29:9). No one in Scripture, no one, is portrayed as laughing in God’s presence as a means of worship. (We aren't aware of anyone in charismatic circles who describes laughter "as a means of worship." But of course, it doesn't matter, since the author has yet to document anything or even offer an argument.)

Rather, when God is present, they fall terrified in fear. (The author apparently is ignorant of Scripture.

Ps. 126:2 Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”

Ec. 3:4 ...a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance...

Lk. 6:21 Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.

And let's see just how solemn we are supposed to be in worship:

Ps. 20:5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. 

Ps. 27:6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.

Ps. 33:3 Sing to him a new song; play skilfully, and shout for joy.

Ps. 47:1 Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.

Again and again, we find the author is completely wrong.)

Likewise, no one in Scripture is “slain in the Spirit.” Biblically, that’s not a thing. It’s not real. Those who fell before God in fear fell frontwards on their face, and not backward. (??? The direction is important???)

This is a phenomenon completely made up by 20th Century charismatics. (We address "slain in the Spirit" here.)

Being “drunk in the spirit” was contrived at the so-called “Toronto Blessing” revival and perpetuated by “Holy Ghost Bartender,” Rodney Howard Browne. And yet, we’re warned against drunkenness in the Scripture (*Sigh* He just keeps going on and on. Has he never read Ac. 2:13? Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.” Clearly they weren't drunk. for Peter asserts this right away. Yet there obviously was something in their behavior that suggested drunkenness.)

and we’re told that a fruit of the Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). ("Self control" is 

For the believer, 1466 /egkráteia ("self-control, Spirit-control") can only be accomplished by the power of the Lord. Accordingly, 1466 /egkráteia ("true mastery from within") is explicitly called a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:23).

Hmm. So if "Spirit control" excludes being overcome ("slain") by the Spirit, the author has a real problem. Remember him telling us "Rather, when God is present, they fall terrified in fear." So were these people not exercising self-control in the presence of God by falling in fear?)

Most of the charismatic signposts believed to be manifestations of the Holy Spirit are either demonic in nature or self-deluded hypnosis and mass hysteria. ("Most?" What about the rest of it? How does the author explain what isn't "most?")

These charismatic novelties are nowhere to be found in Scripture, and most of them are forbidden in Scripture. (More undocumented assertions.)

Please encourage your friends and loved ones to come out of the superstitions of charismaticism, and into spirit-filled orthodox Christianity. We believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to convict the world of sin, regenerate our hearts, lead us to the truth, and produce in us spiritual fruits like discernment, which keep us from being charismatic.