Conservatives keep nattering on and on about how much they love Jesus Christ, whom they view as their “personal” Savior. (The author will make mention of Jesus being her Savior five times in this screed. Since she seems to think she is one of the saved, we wonder what she thinks being saved is. Is she a sinner? What has she been saved from? What did Jesus actually do when He died on the cross?
As you read, count the number of times she impugns Christians, often at the expense of her narrative.)
Dictionary.Com defines the word “Christian” as people who follow Jesus Christ’s teachings (unlike American conservatives) or at least have something to do with Him:
Chris·tian [kris-chuhn] adjective 1. of, pertaining to, or derived fromJesus Christ or His teachings: a Christian faith. 2. of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on a the teachings ofJesus Christ: Spain is a Christian country. 3. of or pertaining to Christians: many Christian deaths in the Crusades. 4. exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of Jesus Christ; Christlike: She displayed true Christian charity. 5. decent; respectable: They gave him a good Christian burial.
So, a Christian is a person who tries to act like Jesus Christ or, at least, follow His teachings? Alas, this definition doesn’t sound at all like the conservative so-called “Christians” we keep reading and hearing about in the news. (Ah, so her source about who Christians are or what they believe isn't Christians themselves, it's the media. The same media that frequently presents Christians in the worst possible light. From this we are supposed to sit back and bask in her biblical wisdom?)
Do you know any right-wing Christians who truly follow Jesus Christ? (Another admission of ignorance. She doesn't even know any "right wing" Christians!)
The following Jesus quotes show how Their Savior truly wanted Christians to behave.
(20) “Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.” [John 13:16 KJV]
Jesus clearly favors an egalitarian society, (Well, no. Not even close. Let's quote a bit more of the passage. Jn. 13:13-17:
You call me `Teacher’ and `Lord’, and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
In fact, He specifically contrasts the way the political world works with how Christians must act. Here is a quote from Jesus from the Gospel of Matthew:
Mt. 20:25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave — 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
stubborn votes against food stamps and rejection of state Medicare expansions prove they don’t even care about the people who voted them into office. (That is, government programs supposedly must express Jesus' teaching. Yet opposing the waste, abuse, and bad results of these programs is unchristian.
At what point government programs were supposed to be examples of Jesus is left unmentioned.)
(19) “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Matthew 7:1-2 KJV] (Ah, the Left's favorite Bible verse, one of the precious few they can actually quote. Indeed, they wield this verse like a bludgeon to beat Christians into submission, unaware or more likely, unconcerned what the context of the verse is.
Mt. 7:1-5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Jesus Christ commands his followers not to be judgmental towards their neighbors, yet these right wingers can’t stop themselves from making arbitrary judgments about LGBTs, (Following the provided link, we find no mention of Christians. **Update: Dead link.)
single mothers, people of color, immigrants, non-Christians, poor people, and just about everyone who isn’t white, rich, male, and “Christian.” This Jesus quote shows how He really wanted people to treat one another.
(18) “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” [Luke 6:41 KJV]
This famous Jesus quote about hypocrisy back in Ye Olde New Testament times explains why conservative Christians say one thing and mean another. (They do? Any quotes, Ms. Parker? Any links or references?)
They (Who does?)
Because those who claim to be Christians fail, apparently this makes other Christians wrong for standing for righteousness. So Jim is an adulterer, which makes Fred wrong to oppose gay marriage. If this makes sense to you, you must be a leftist.)
(17) “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” [Matthew 5:9 KJV]
As the above quote proves, Jesus Christ preached peace, love, and kindness to his followers. Yet conservative Christians are always the first to blast the trumpets of war. (Yes, every Christian is in favor of war. Not.
We wonder what the author would make of this verse: Mt. 10:34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."
Or this one: Lk. 22:36 He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.")
If they had their way, we’d be carpet bombing every country suspected of harboring even one terrorist, along with our local homeless encampments. (Continuing in her irrational stereotyping, the author asserts with a straight face that every Christian is not only a warmonger, but they would kill innocents. Again, if this makes sense to you, you must be a leftist.)
(16) “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?” [Matthew 6:26]
If the previous Jesus quotes make Our Savoir sound mildly liberal, (Which has not yet happened.)
this one makes Jesus Christ sound like a Goddamned hippie Communist. Right-wing Christians love heaping scorn on people who get help from the U.S. government, (Absent any documentation, and having cited no examples, we summarily dismiss her assertions.)
with no thought to whether their troubles are temporary or they’ve paid into the system. Even a lot of left-leaning Democrats demand that people on welfare be held “accountable.” Yet here’s Jesus saying that we should all be fed and cared for — regardless of our morals or how hard we work — just because we exist and God loves us. (Really? Again placing her biblical ignorance on display, we note that there is nothing in the quoted verse about an obligation for government to make sure everyone being fed and cared for.)
And as for those lazy, do-nothing “fowls of the air,” Jesus doesn’t even think we worker bees are any better than them. (Whew. A lot of idiocy here. Again we quote the passage:
Mt. 6:25-34 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.As we can plainly see, Jesus is not talking about the poor. He is telling his followers to stop worrying.
And as far as "we worker bees not being better," Jesus says something quite different: "Are ye not much better than they?" And that's right in the quote she provides!)
(15) “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” [John 8:7 KJV]
The above Jesus quote makes it obvious: Unlike today’s conservative Christians, who eagerly serve in the vanguard of the GOP’s war on women, Jesus Christ has no regard for double standards that hold men and women to different rules. At least four women — his mother, Mary Magdalene, and the sisters Mary and Martha — were beloved members of his inner circle. When a crowd gathered to stone a woman to death for the “crime” of adultery, Jesus stopped them dead in their tracks by demanding that the person without sin cast the first stone. (The ignorance mounts up. Was Jesus dealing with the woman's gender, or was it her sin? We turn to the Bible again, where the account concludes with Jesus telling the woman, "Go now and leave your life of sin.” (Jn. 8:11) Ah, so she was sinning! And Jesus judged her and told her to stop.)
(14) “But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” [1 John 3:17 KJV]
How can a conservative so-called “Christian” read the above Jesus quote and keep voting for people who give tax cuts to the rich, while slashing programs that feed families, care for the elderly and disabled, house the homeless, provide health care, protect consumers, and keep our air and water clean? (Whaa? The verse must be mistranslated, because apparently it should say, "But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and doesn't want the government to take money from him and dole it out so that he doesn't have to do it himself, how does the love of God abide in him?")
(13) “Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.” [Matthew 9:35]
Jesus Christ famously roamed the Holy Land giving free healthcare to everyone in need. (Clearly this makes Obamacare biblical, and Obama is Jesus Himself. Which of course must mean that government should roam the backroads of America healing everyone.
Even many non-Bible readers are familiar with Our Savior’s healing exploits. Yet, His conservative “Christian” followers in Congress are adamantly opposed to giving Americans access to healthcare. Instead, they waste U.S. taxpayers’ time and money over and over again trying to repeal the Affordable Care Act (ACA) even though their GOP lawmakers helped design the program, and their 2012 presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, had great success with a similar program during his tenure as Mass. state governor. Go figure. (A common thread permeates the author's presentation. Everything that Jesus did should now be done by government. And Christians therefore need to get on board with government programs, because that's the way Jesus' will must be expressed.)
(12) “Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.” [Matthew 23:28 KJV]
The above biblical passage comes straight from the Savior’s mouth and describes our country’s conservative Christians to a tee (minus some of the other things they’re “full of”). (What this has to do with Jesus being a liberal is anyone's guess.)
(11) “And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father’s house an house of merchandise.” [John 2:14-16 KJV]
Unlike our Mammon-worshipping conservative Christians, Jesus Christ clearly loathes capitalism. (Actually, Jesus loathes the greedy who set themselves up to take advantage of people going church. As far as Jesus' attitude about capitalism, Jesus told this story about the man who hired and paid workers according to his own principles about how to conduct his business:
Mt. 20:15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money?This story was about a rich man who wanted his employees to invest his money. To one employee he gave a lot of money, to another, a little less, and to a third, a small amount:
Mt. 25:16 The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17 So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18 But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. `Master,’ he said, `you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’21 “His master replied, `Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ 22 “The man with the two talents also came. `Master,’ he said, `you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.’ 23 “His master replied, `Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
24 “Then the man who had received the one talent came. `Master,’ he said, `I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’ \
26 “His master replied, `You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. 28 “`Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents.
29 For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.Does this sound even remotely liberal to you? The guy with the smallest amount of money was punished, and the money he buried was given to the one with the most! And then Jesus has the gall to apply the story to the way His kingdom works. Whoa.
Here's another one:
Mt. 21:33 Listen to another parable: There was a landowner who planted a vineyard. He put a wall around it, dug a winepress in it and built a watchtower. Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and went away on a journey. 34 When the harvest time approached, he sent his servants to the tenants to collect his fruit.Whose "fruit?" That is, whose profit? The landowner's!
Jesus was firmly pro-ownership:
Mt. 24:43 But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into.God Himself is an owner: Jn. 16:15 All that belongs to the Father is mine.
Those who don't pay their debts are thrown in jail: Mt. 18:34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
Conclusion: Jesus was a capitalist.)
Pretty much the only time we ever see Jesus totally lose his cool and go into an Incredible Hulk-like rage is when he returns to Jerusalem with his disciples, and finds the Temple clogged with bankers and vendors. He doesn’t just yell at them, He totally goes apesh*t, wrecks their booths, and drives them out with whips He somehow manages to improvise and fashion on the spur of the moment. One can only imagine how Jesus would feel about Wall Street, the Koch brothers, and ALEC.
(10) “And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” [Matthew 19:24 KJV]
If you’ve got any doubt about how Jesus Christ would feel about income inequality, the Supreme Court’s Citizens United ruling, or rich CEOs raking in huge profits while crusading against a long-overdue minimum wage hike, this passage makes it pretty clear that making profits at other people’s expense gives you bad karma in the Great Beyond. (The phrase "at other people's expense" does not appear in the text. The author, colored by her political doctrine, reads into the story an element that does not exist.
Nor is there any hint that Jesus wants government to take the rich man's money and dole it out to others.)
(9) “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [Matthew 22:37-40 KJV]
When Jesus Christ’s adoring crowds asked which of the 10 Commandments are the most important ones for them to follow, Jesus turned around and changed the rules. He said that if we first love God, and then love our neighbor, the rest would follow naturally. It’s hard to see how denying gays the right to marry and cutting anti-poverty programs follows Jesus’ teachings. Yet, our conservative “Christian” lawmakers insist this is what we should do. (Wow, quite a jump. The author turns Jesus command to adore the Father into an anti-poverty program. Not much can be said about this idiocy.
While we're here, let's review what Jesus thought about the 10 Commandments:
Mk. 10:19 You know the commandments: "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.“I wonder what the author thinks about false testimony [lying], for example.)
(8) “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.” [Matthew 6:5 KJV]
Conservative Christians claim to love Jesus and seem to adore shouting their faith from atop their soap boxes any chance they get. But the real Jesus Christ scorned these showy – and often phony – displays of piety, and went out of his way to preach against them. (Which has nothing to do with Jesus being a liberal. We think the author has forgotten her premise in favor of Christian-bashing.)
(7) “But if ye had known what this meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless.” [Matthew 12:7 KJV]
Jesus Christ always preached mercy for women, children, sinners, criminals, the poor, and even his own enemies. (Um, no. Not even close.
Mt. 13:41-42 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. 42 They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Mt. 15:34 Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For God said, `Honor your father and mother’ [Exodus 20:12; Deut. 5:16] and `Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’
Mk. 12:40 They devour widows’ houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely.”)Yet, today’s conservative Christians demand retroactive abortions (Curious. Apparently sometimes abortion is wrong.)
the death penalty and insist that children who commit crimes should be charged as adults. (And none of this has anything to do with Jesus being a liberal.)
(6) “But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.” [Matthew 14:16 KJV]
Jesus Christ always wanted to feed people and extend hospitality to strangers, no matter what their circumstances. Yet, conservative, so-called “Christians” seek to cut back on food stamps and deport immigrants — or bar them from entry. (Because government programs are what Jesus wanted.)
(5) “And he said, Woe unto you also, ye lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not the burdens with one of your fingers.” [Luke 11:46 KJV]
Thank you, GOP lawmakers, for passing laws and promoting policies that make things harder for most of your fellow Americans. (The author just can't seem to keep her story straight. Is this about the GOP, Republicans, Christians, or Jesus being a liberal?)
(4) “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.” [Luke 12:48 KJV]
Or, as President John F. Kennedy more succinctly states, “To those whom much is given, much is expected.” Alas, conservative Christians have gotten this all mixed up. (Again we wonder what this has to do with Jesus being a liberal.)
Lk. 12:45 But suppose the servant says to himself, `My master is taking a long time in coming,’ and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. 46 The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. 47 That servant who knows his master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. 48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.Jesus is telling a story about a rich guy who takes a trip and put his employees in charge of his affairs. They are to watch for the master's return, and they get judged according to how well the took care of the master's affairs.
This has nothing to do with people with money getting taxed more. Government policy is not under discussion. Jesus is talking about the kingdom of God, not how much taxes someone should be expected to pay.)
(3) “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” [Matthew: 11:28 KJV]
Unlike today’s right-wing so-called “Christians,” Jesus Christ sympathized with those who work day-to-day to scrape by and preached that they would get their reward. Meanwhile, Republicans refuse to even consider raising the minimum wage to keep up with the cost of living. (Ignorance combined with arrogance is a wicked brew. The author has no clue about the rest that Jesus offers, which is the release from the heavy burden of sin coupled with man-made rules. Jesus frequently criticized the political leaders of the day who "tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them." [Mt. 23:4] These are the folks who made up hundreds of laws about how a person should act, what they could and couldn't do, and condemned those who failed to live up to the burdens they created.
Leftists love to pile government regulation, laws and rules upon people. Leftists love to police peoples' speech, force them to do things they don't want to do, require them to act against their own self-interest, and just generally control people.
Sound familiar, Ms. Parker?)
(2) “For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” [Matthew 25:34-40 KJV]
The Christian Right keeps ranting about how raising taxes to pay for programs that help the poor and folks who find themselves in a jam is somehow like forcing us into slavery. But Jesus Christ’s views on feeding, clothing, and helping people in need is unequivocal: He sees it as directly serving Him. (He sees government programs as serving Him? What about separation of Church and State? And why are leftists so intent on tearing down 10 Commandment monuments? Why are those who profess their faith impugned and silenced, yet nevertheless are expected to pony up the dough for failed programs that they aren't allowed to have a voice in?
Explain this to us, won't you Ms. Parker?)
(1) “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.” [Matthew 25:41-43 KJV]
In case the previous half of this passage doesn’t make Jesus Christ’s views abundantly clear, Our Saviour gets more specific. He says that on Judgment Day, He will look askance at people who refused to help those less fortunate than themselves. Not only that, Jesus Christ will curse them and cast them away “into everlasting fire.” (So the author believes in hell. And strangely, she knows exactly who will end up there. It's only going to be those people who do not support government programs, apparently.)
(Talk about clueless. Boorish and smug, the author doesn't understand the first thing about what Jesus taught.)